reducing ego equals one, two, three, five teardrops?
well, hope it is worth more than that.

Actually, I’m, -personally-, not really sure how to write about this topic. Maybe I’ll start from the definitions of the word itself that I took from Concise Oxford Dictionary,

infidelity
· n. (pl. infidelities)
1 the action or state of being sexually unfaithful.
2 lack of religious faith.

Hmm, sexually unfaithful? What does sexually here means? Ah, okay, let’s not think about it too hard because what I emphasize here is the word unfaithful.

Hhh.. I hate it. I dislike it very much. Not just the act of being unfaithful to your partner, but how it connects very closely with a thing called long-distance relationship. I’ve seen three couples, six people, had a long-distance relationship, got into this unfaithful problem which includes a third person, and they couldn’t deal with it. Let alone about the deal thing, how about prevent themselves, –ourselves-, from doing so? How about trying to stay faithful at the first place?

Sorry.. I don’t mean to judge anyone, no. Here, writing these things, I plainly feel worry. I know, I knooow that among those six, unfaithful was not just the issue. I know having an LDR is not that easy. I know they’ve tried to make it worked. I know having someone here feels better than having someone there. I know, I know. Hhh, but still.. people and their tendency to be unfaithful, they worry me. Because it all goes back to the thought of me and him. Long-distance relationship, the recent issue of infidelity inside our circle, these things..

Communication is the key, people said. But what if one of them were somewhere out there with no connection to cellphone, internet, whatsoever? I know I’ve only been in this LDR thingy for around three months. But then, I’ve learned much. I’ve learned that there’s one thing besides communication that’s really important. For me, understanding is the key. It is the very key. Me and him, we’re doing it, and we’re trying to keep doing it, and (I hope) everything will stay alright just like it is now.

So, for those out there who are experiencing this thing, just try to understand each other. The distance, the difference. Try to understand.

You’ll see : )

gloom

Take every moment,  you know that you own them
It’s all you can do, use what’s been given to you.

Live Like You’re Dying – Lenka

mengajak rindu ini berdamai dengan hati.

blurred citylights

Di perjalanan pulang tadi, ketika malam telah mengetuk minta izin menggantikan senja, melepas lelah hari ini tangan saya bergerak melepaskan kacamata. Berniat untuk memejamkan mata, namun pemandangan di luar jendela tidak mengizinkan saya. Melihat jalan raya, saya kemudian teringat kalimat yang pernah kamu ucapkan. Kini saya melihatnya. Mereka, lingkaran-lingkaran kecil cahaya yang berpendar, menyatu dan menyebar, bergerak lurus atau melingkar, menari dan menghibur saya seakan berkata

“Tenang, sayang, ada kami di sini yang akan menutup harimu dengan senyuman.”

Terpejam, mereka mengantar saya terhempas dalam lelap tanpa mimpi.
Terima kasih ya, lingkaran-lingkaran cahaya.

Tidak seharusnya saya menopangkan harihari saya pada tiga kata itu,
Tidak seharusnya saya menyanggakan senyum saya pada nada suaramu,
Tidak seharusnya saya mengalaskan pijakan saya pada rindu akan kehadiranmu,
Tidak seharusnya dalam setiap hela nafas saya terlafaskan namamu,
Tidak seharusnya saya mendenyarkan bayang wajahmu dalam setiap selalu,
Tidak seharusnya saya menitikkan air mata padahal belum tiga minggu sejak kita terakhir bertemu, belum dua puluh satu hari, baru empat ratus lima puluh enam jam, baru satu juta enam ratus sekian detik kita tidak bertemu,
Tidak seharusnya saya..

Namun terlanjur saya lakukan, tak tahu harus bagaimana maka saya biarkan.

Di antara jeda pikirku,
di sana,
ada hela nafasmu.

try to love
love to fail.

ternyata ia masih di situ!
rasa berdesir stiap hatiku menyebutkan namamu : )

I fucking need someone to talk about fucking random things.

Who's peeking

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