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saya tidak akan mengeluh di depan anak-anak saya nanti.
saya janji.

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I’m afraid when you forget
and I’m not there to remind you.

kini, apapun yang terjadi
akankah berubah, ketika jarak memisah?

At first I thought i would write about how sucks it is having a mom who doesn’t let you grow up (yet, I hope). It does suck, really (change the s into an f, and still it does). But then, oh what the hell. Repeating fuck all the time won’t do any good either. So I looked at this goddamn-untidy-bookshelf in my bedroom,

before

and then I put my energies, those involved around these negative aura of mine, on making this bookshelf a better shelf for the books. After three and a half hour of throwing papers into cardboard box and smashing books onto the floor.. finally, I could get rid of those shits and fucks in my mind (nice work, girl!). And, really, fuck with not being let to grow up, not coming to the after party, not having sleepover in my best friend’s house (though I really want to spend the night with you, Ta). Because it feels nice enough to see my dearest bookshelf on its new face : )

after

Not many differences, eh? Oh but I bet they now have a lot more air to breathe than before. The books, I mean. Well well! Enough for tonight! Gotta find out what to do next to fill my zero-scale-on-fun-o-meter-holiday! Keep up your positive aura, girl!

mati by diiankax3

I’m not having my period
and everything’s going just fine (i guess)
then why do I feel like tearing myself apart?

why do you have to push me around?
why do you have to fucking
push me around?
I did all my best back there.
so please, I am fine with this eat, online, sleep thingy going on for a while.
just stop pushing me around.
please, mom.

hxkr

100%
bukan sekedar angka, bukan sekedar kata yang lompat dari mulut ke mulut
100%
seperti selimut hangat yang menyelimuti hati kita saat melangkah bersama keluar dari putih abu abu
100%
adalah jawaban atas doa doa kita dalam sujud dalam tangan yang mengatup
100%
menggoreskan lega melukiskan bangga sebagai kita.
sebagai
heksakra.

.- -.- ..- / -.-. ..- — .- / – .- -.- ..- – / -.- . …. .. .-.. .- -. –. .- -. / -.- .- — ..- / -.. .. – / .. – ..- / .- .— .-

– .- .–. .. / – — …. / … . — ..- .- / ..- -.. .- …. / .- -.. .- / .— .- .-.. .- -. -. -.– .- / -.- .- -. / -.– .- ?

-.– .- -. –. / .–. . -. – .. -. –. / .- -.- ..- / — .- … .. …. / .–. ..- -. -.– .- / -.- .- — ..- / …. .- .-. .. / .. -. ..

.- -.- ..- / … .- -.– .- -. –. / -.- .- — ..- / .- -.. .. – -.– .-

retakan di kereta

non, pas nous.

autumn road

if one of us meet someone along the way, then
maybe a hello, goodbye would be enough,
hm?

i found the picture when i was browsing for polaroids randomly at flickr

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